Ever wondered what’s on the other side of the successes in CVs? Are you a top performer that can’t get to the next level? You’re in the right place! Grab a drink and laugh & learn with my 2 year speedrun of mistakes.
Be made a technical owner of core part of new public AWS service by coincidence of senior leaving and you voicing desire of increased scope of impact. Great start.
Think this is your big time to shine and you’ll do everything to deliver. Then work 10/h days. Be happy your 3rd child is born midnight and then grind all day. Take the opportunity to over-work as your wife’s mother is helping for 1 month. What family?
Argue with the team constantly for your ideas even though you’re not the owner of the assignment. Regardless of decision’s impact. Block code reviews and bring arbitrators when you can’t push your side. Lose 2 engineers as effect. The 10x engineer.
Get a top performance rating with a 2% pay raise. Then tell the company to fix your salary or you’ll switch jobs - whichever happens first. Fail all interviews due overburn from juggling work, baby, insufficient sleep, no time to prep. Get salary fixed after 2 months. A close one..
Go for senior, write a summary of accomplishments and mention all mistakes from the service launch with a big sign towards decision makers. Then wonder why the review is declined. Blame your manager when all he/she’s trying is to protect you. I’m that guy!
Be late on delivery, about to miss a milestone you’ve set, then get mad when managers schedule daily status reports 4 days before deadline. Those meddling micromanagers!
See 2 engineers with non-comparable technical achievements be promoted before you. Eat your shorts out of jealousness and conspire theories. Fail to accept they demonstrate leadership principles you lack.. Nowayman, it’s boots licking.
Change team. Get the top project. Agree with new manager to get to senior in 12 months. Tell yourself this is a fresh start and no mistakes this time. That’a boy.
Find out skip-manager had requirements you were not aware of, late in design stage. Feel the kick in your crotch as you need to start all over. But first tell your skip he/she has poor communication skills.. Remind me, who signs promotions?
Watch while no-one picks your 5 tasks on project kick-off at sprint planning. Fix by barging in to your manager like a SWAT team entering the house of an unsuspecting perpetrator. Then think all is alright when the tasks get completed on time.
Go in to hand over with your manager and skip, as your manager is changing team. Get feedback you have room for improvement. Do 1:1 with skip and push for response if there are plans for your development. Get told you didn’t approach design right when getting requirements, didn’t think big, didn’t challenge yourself, and have upset managers with your behavior.. You clearly meet the AWS bar.
Raise the white flag. Put your resignation. Don’t have a new job lined up. And have a 4th kid on the way.
What A Day