“Hey G., are you interested in coaching? If you are let’s meet up for 30min and discuss what your goals are? Cheers, Ian Grant.”
Huh, who’s Ian? Principal TAM, ok.. How did he find me? Did my manager arrange it? No.. Maybe from the mentoring registry I signed 3 years ago? Yes, he signed as a mentor and I popped out.
It was a sign. An opportunity. But if Ian will coach me I have to respect his time & effort. As previous mentor-like engagements didn’t end up anywhere.
I set on 2 rules:
Be with an open mind. Accept ideas. Do not push back, question extensively, and discard suggestions regardless of what instinct, reflex, and experience tells.
Do every suggestion. And only after that allow yourself to judge if it works.
I didn’t chase a goal, but there was a lot to improve, so I told it all. I confessed like a criminal to a priest. Ian took notes, followed with “Gosh.. where do we start with..”, and began..
Can’t hold off frustration? It is an improvement potential. Think what is triggering you and decide how to avoid it next time. I listened. My gut told no. I couldn’t fight off the emotions. But I tried it. And persisted. Now any time I’m irritated I focus on my actions, find I can do better, plan mitigation, and then emotions stop.
Too pessimistic? Avoid it by searching for and praising positives, as small as they can be. Be optimistic for upcoming situations and suppress the gloomy possibilities. I listened. Reflex was nuh-uh. I’d just gaslight myself. But I tried it. Had to force it on me. It worked! And now I’m happy. Every day is now good. My attitude went from “it’s ok..” to “it’s great!” and perception improved.
Can’t smalltalk? Take it as a game how quickly a common topic of interest can be found. Practice it to build relationships. I listened. I hated smalltalk. But I did it while in taxis. Now I can start and sustain ice-breaker talks. And used it to built relations.
Want to continuously self-improve? Write down things that speak to you and remind them at start of every day. I listened. My experience objected. I would just read it mechanically without paying attention. But I tried it. It took weeks for effect to show. Now I have a personal bible that I extend as I read books, as I learn through experience, as I receive feedback. It’s my precious.
Can’t influence customers? Prioritize face to face interactions to get closer and research clients beforehand. I listened. Experience told me my stiffness would make it worse. But I tried it. Spent hours chatting on personal interests and showed I’m just as human as they are. I became cool. And turned bad relations 180 around.
Not in mental and physical shape? Ian kept them in check with 30min kettlebell workouts. I listened. I was lazy on both fronts. So I tried it. I reduced my weight, became present in the family, shrank procrastination, and found non-family impacting time slots for improvement.
An God spoke to me.
2 rules.
Open mind.
Follow advice.
And turn your life around.