“Write down the things that speak to you and read them often” - the greatest advice my mentor gave me and I’m excited to share it with you. It’s a process for continuous self-improvement. Following it I’ve written my own personal Bible which enabled numerous adjustments of my behavior.
- Identify areas you struggle.
- Gather wisdom on the right behavior, attitude, mindset
- Write down the learnings in compressed form
- Re-read all suggestions at least once a week
- Apply as situations arise
The steps are without order, done simultaneously, and there’s no finish line. At one hour you can read sources to collect tips, another hour you can re-read your notebook, and at rest of day you can apply learnings as suitable. Notes will be ever-increasing. And the process quickly becomes a habit after which pausing feels like stopping workouts - your brain becomes less fit and you plunge back to your old self.
Re-reading allows advice to gradually settle in your mind and subconsciousness, which leads to change in behavior. For example “Do not criticize, condemn or complain. Understand, emphasize, praise good, put yourself in other shoes” gave me goosebumps for months. It hit right in area I struggled and which brought the worst in me. But the new behavior was so counteractive to my nature. At the heat of the moment my emotions trumped and the instruction wouldn’t flash in my mind as needed. Re-reading and reflection helped scratch it deep in my brain, mellowed emotions, and allowed space for sober thoughts before action.
Re-reading also reminds you to keep using the tips and prevents them from fading out when they can be applied only in rare situations. Have you read a book full of insights that barely had an effect on you? Why did that happen?
Re-reading is the force that keeps you going when the excitement runs out after consuming highly inspirational content. Have you been pumped after listening to motivational speech and after 3 days the sound of crickets was the only thing left in you?
I call my advice book Bible as the instructions make me a better person, which brings association to the teachings of religions, and the re-reading is like a weekly church service.
For area to improve I write down:
- advice for behavior
- situation showing how action is applied. Illustrates and acts as inspiration.
- explanation why advice works, or the psychology behind it. Allows me to “get it” which enables me to apply it. Understanding human nature allows us to reason about the effect of actions, without thinking in terms of single advice.
[1] is good starting point for your Bible. It covers the aspects of human interactions and it will strike several notes to you.
Let’s share our Bibles in future. Keen to see what path yours will take.
[1] How to Win Friends and Influence People