My wife Mimi finally decided to go on vacation without me and the 4 kids. 6 months old Megi, 3 year old Sofi, 8y Niki, 14y Ani. It was my time to be the woman and look after them for 6 days. My record was 1 day. Though I’d be more like handicapped as one hand would hold a baby. But I was sure I’ll nail it. After all, I was expert on giving unsolicited advice on how to manage the kids.
First was prep. I asked for a simple meal plan utilizing the air fryer. Put stuff in, wait 15 min, put stuff out and meal is sorted. Worked perfectly.
Then I wondered how to manage the kids temperament and had an idea flash. To introduce point system for rewarding good behavior. Plus/minus 1-3 points for good/naughty. First dessert free, next for 3 points. And 10 points = £1 in store. I choose [1] iOS app for tracking.
The point policy was a game changer. Refusal to tidy up, fighting, screaming, avoiding to brush teeth, moaning before doing homework - all disappeared upon reminder of +1 or -1. Niki (8y) took the system to heart and almost all actions became wired to it. And I needed him under control the most. He got the process in 1.5 days, after x2 -1 followed by protests. Sofi (3y) understood something about points, but was easily excited when she saw the bigger siblings engaged. Ani (14y) was like that’s easy brah.
The work week went quickly. Get up at 7, 1h breakfast, followed by 2h to get Niki and Sofi to their schools, then 2h on playgroup for Megi. Mid day was 2h at home for lunch and break - and when I was lucky Megi would sleep after the playgroup for 1h, giving me at least time to eat. 2PM was time to get Niki and Sofi back, followed by a full house. Full house. More like full 4x5 meters main room. The points kept the children in check, but 5 people in small room for hours is not fun. Ani looked after Megi & co while I did all of the chores.
Saturday came. Easy I thought, no school running. Yet so wrong. 4 kids in the main room can stay still not. Soon they started annoying each other and I had to get them out in the cold to spend energy. They spent points in the store. And Megi couldn’t sleep during the day due the constant high pitched voices.
As for Mimi. She had her greatest time in Spain. With 2 other mothers who let their children to the husbands they were perfect group to relax with. And they’ll do it again in 2024.
Mimi deserved the vacation. And so does your child-caring partner.
Imagine your highlight of the day to be 1h without a single kid on your neck. Imagine you get that 1h every 2nd or 3rd day. This is Mimi’s life and my desk job is a heaven compared to it. So giving her several days of break was a no-brainer.
[1] Privelege Points