Last month I tried following life’s direction instead of forcing my way. I did what I was asked and what situation implied. I didn’t act on my emotions. Would I walk in to failure? It’s open mindedness to extreme. Idea came from [1].
What I went through
1) In person meeting with a customer C-level overran and I had to join a virtual call. I led the call and couldn’t skip it. A choice was due. Walk out to join call. Skip call and face consequences. Or do else. With trial in mind I stayed in 1st and covertly joined 2nd without headset on. Noone joined 2nd and I finished 1st in peace.
2) Locksmith was to come at 9AM. But at 9AM my wife and I drop off kids at schools. Wife can be back by 8:45, but often chat with mums. I can return 9:10 soonest. I’d ask wife be back by 9AM and disrupt her plans. But I let her follow routine and prepared a sign I’d be late. Luckily she came back at 8:50. Her conversations had ended naturally. Locksmith came on time, wife handled interactions, and I came back to job done.
3) I helped friend update his CV. He used AI to write experience matching a role. I am not a fan of AI assisted writing. But suppressed my urges to ask him to type out contributions with own words. He used 3 AI tools and CV ended looking good. I was impressed.
4) Got invited to in person meetup with client Head of Engineering (VIP). But meeting overlapped half-way with a virtual call. Call was with tech lead from same company. I organized the call. 3 months in making. I’d naturally decline the meetup as I’m not critical. Instead I asked the team for thoughts. All suggested I join for first half. So I did. Turned out the tech lead reports to the VIP. Found it out during intro to VIP. So I had easy excuse to jump out. He even asked me to say Hi to the tech lead.
5) Bought a child car seat in town 1.5h away. A friend from teenage years lived there. We haven’t seen since. I wanted to catch up. But I was with my whole family thus didn’t want to bother him. It would be inconvenient with kids around. Not telling I was around didn’t feel right too. So I asked the friend for places in town to see. He gave ideas and offered to meet us. We met and chatted for 2h while following wife and kids through shops. We met after 17 years.
After 1st week behavior with my wife shifted. I started doing all I’m asked for. I started asking what I should do instead of stating what I’ll do. Surprised reactions from wife reduced. And interestingly most replies matched what I wanted. The shift led to work interruptions and less time for writing posts. But there was no material effect.
Conclusion? It’s inconclusive. Although results are alluding mindset is correct, it could be just luck. More thrills like 1) and 2) are needed. With high risk and blind trust of fate.
It’s weird to think a force is driving us in right direction at all times. That we only need to listen and ignore our biases and emotions.
I’ll continue the trial. Key is in heat of moment to not push back.